Jennifer Lawrence's Essay - Why do we as women want to come across as likable.. always!

Thursday, October 15, 2015

I am pretty sure we have all read and over-read or seen and over-seen articles on Jennifer Lawrence's essay on pay inequality in Hollywood. My initial reaction even before reading the essay was "Oh god..not another Hollywood celebrity writing about inequality and feminism with the help of a ghost writer" ( I am looking at you Emma Watson).

Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I am tired of celebrities trying to take up social causes. It was endearing when a very few did it, but now it's almost turning into a smart career move. I know it's not a popular opinion, but I digress.

Coming back to JLaw, I have always liked her even before she became this mainstream most-adored actress. This was when me and my husband came across her movie Winter's Bone, thanks to Netflix and fell in love with her. So because I feel like I discovered her, I thought I'll give her essay a chance. And I am not going to deny it, I LOVED it. And you know why, because her essay felt authentic and she didn't try to use big words just to sound fancy and smart. Read this:

"I don’t like joining conversations that feel like they’re “trending.” I’m even the person who didn’t do anything about the ice-bucket challenge — which was saving lives — because it started to feel more like a “trend” than a cause. I should have written a check, but I forgot, okay? I’m not perfect. But with a lot of talk comes change, so I want to be honest and open and, fingers crossed, not piss anyone off." 

Right? And she talks about how she closed the deal when she was offered lesser than her male co-stars because there was an element of her wanting to be liked by others. Seriously, how many of us can relate to that. And she writes I’m over trying to find the “adorable” way to state my opinion and still be likable! I don’t think I’ve ever worked for a man in charge who spent time contemplating what angle he should use to have his voice heard. It’s just heard."

Why do we as women have this inherent thing in us to come across as likable? I just thought this was an interesting thing to see all across the world and not just in some cultures. I don't know where I am going with this, but sometimes words are just meant to be there as food for thought, maybe? :)


  1. I think women and men both have that thing to be like likable. Just that men are too egoistic to project this outward. The reasons for women feeling the pressure is ofcourse well known. The media, society etc setting standards. I do think that the likable thing about women is unfortunately more dependent on her physical attributes. In case of a man its more to do with their stature in society, their sporting skills etc. wish women were also more bothered about being likable for their talents. But again, all this for men and women is set by the society. We judge for the wrong reasons. Women are emotional and In weird way want to be always the part of the pact. There comes the need for assurance and likability.

  2. Your comments are always so good read nits! I agree that it's more to do with the society that girls grow up wanting to be a likable person an are afraid to come across as the bad guy. With regards to looks, even though a woman's likability is sometimes directly proportionate to her likability factor, her opinions and her thoughts are put across as to not offend anyone and hence be more likable. Whereas in a man's case, he can state his opinion on anything and be called as a man with principles or a man who speaks his mind out, but when a woman does the same, she comes across as stubborn or strong headed. Wish it would change ..sigh!